I Am Not

I have been a volunteer for nearly 10 years through my church with foster children. I love what I do and working with these kids. However, there have been times that our Director has treated me like his “whipping post”. He personally used that term and said, “Everyone needs a whipping post.”

Sometimes we banter and it is fun and games and then he takes it too far and won’t let the jokes stop. J actually volunteers with me. We will all be at a 3-day camp together where I will be on staff (leadership) and J will be a counselor.

Our Director keeps joking that I will be in the same group as J and will have to personally make sure that J doesn’t act like a child. I have told our Director numerous times that doing something like that will probably make me quit.

His reply, “Maybe I am trying to drive you away.” (then laughs)

I am going to send him an email but need to write it out perfectly so that he knows I want to be involved but that I can’t be treated like this anymore.


Hi Director,
I know we have had a bantering friendship for the last few years but over the last few months it has gotten a lot worse. You don’t treat anyone else the same way you treat me and I feel like I need to address this.

On Saturday, you called me your “whipping post” and that’s when I realized that I had to say something.

I have fun with sarcasm and banter, however, I was and am serious when I say that I don’t like being called mean, especially from someone in authority.

In our training, you talked about filters and experiences effecting communication. With the recent increase of your “banter”, “teasing” and excessive words, it reminds me my brother who was verbally abusive to me. I know this is not your intention. However, he did not stop when I asked him to and kept with the same style of “jokes” and “banter” as you.

Camp is for the camper, yes. However, I don’t like the “jokes” and how you treat me differently. It feels like you don’t respect me the same as the others due to the fact that you treat me this way.

I hope that we can go into camp with a clean slate. Please understand that I have been trying to figure out how to say this for awhile.

Best,
Everything But Sugar


Well??? Oh, he calls me “mean” because I’m supposed to be the “rule enforcer” at camp. But I don’t know why that is JUST on me? Shouldn’t it be on all the staff??

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