Taking Your Pain Away

An open letter to my sister, KB.
Dear KB,

Even though you are 4 years older than me, I have always been the one to protect you. We grew up in a home with a mom that didn’t know how to communicate very well and had a hard time raising 4 kids on her own while dad traveled for work all the time.

When mom yelled, you shrank into yourself… You didn’t know how to react to her while she was coming down on us.

I couldn’t stand to see how you were being treated, so I took the brunt of it. I wanted you to be protected. I already had a tougher personality and knew that it wouldn’t hurt for me to stand up to her for the both of us. So when she yelled at you, I stood as your shield and yelled back.

After 15 years of being your protector, I am breaking because I cannot fix your pain right now. I see you breaking… and I just want to fix it. I want to yell, scream, fight for you. I want to know how to make this right, make this stop.

How do I take your pain away?

My dear sister, you are an amazing woman. You gave birth to a beautiful little girl, CB, and now are healing from it emotionally and physically. I wish I could do something to help bare this weight.

Every time I offer to do something or say something, you cry. I know they are tears of joy but the last thing I want to do is make you cry.

My sister, my friend… I love you so much. I am breaking not knowing what to do to help.

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