CB is going to come at any moment now. I’m sitting in the waiting room taking a break after being in the “laboring” room for 11 hours with my sister who has been in active labor for over 24 hours now.
It’s about midnight here in California and I’ve been here at the hospital since 8:30 am. You see, this morning KB was scheduled for pitocin because CB is 2 weeks late. She is taking her time to come out.
As I am sitting here in the long hours as a supporter and one of KB’s coaches, I am envying all my family members that are laying down to sleep. They are taking this epidural break time to catch a few zzz’s of their own before KB starts pushing and the real action starts.
Me, you ask? I sit here wide awake because I cannot fall asleep.
Let me rephrase that. I can fall asleep. I am exhausted.
Being there emotionally for someone going through active labor is so exhausting. However, medically speaking, I cannot fall asleep.
You see, I mentioned before in one of my posts that I have epilepsy. There is this challenge when it comes to sleep for many of us. If you fall sleep at night, you stay sleep. If you don’t, there is a great chance that you WILL have a seizure.
I’m not a fan of seizures. I’m not quite sure if anyone is… especially since I have been doing so great with not having them! The more times you have them, the less your medication works.
It’s a cruel world we live it.
So as I watch my family sleep, I sit here and watch the minutes… hours… pass and wonder, do I just go home? How much longer do I last? Is this little niece of mine coming soon?? I need to be healthy for her.
But I want to be here for my sister… and I have a VERY hard time of putting myself before other people.