Is it a lie if I don’t remember? Let’s go back for a second, I have mentioned that I don’t drink alcohol before due to a medication that I take. Well, a few years ago, one of those made me just like Dory. I had no short term memory, which meant nothing made it into my long term memory. Being friends with me was super fun and I mean that literally. I had amazing friends who were super supportive.
So I was thinking about my blogs and how I am recounting some of my exs for you all then it came to me, I lied to A and J (and other exs). But is it a lie if I couldn’t remember until now??? For the past few years, I honestly couldn’t remember some of the things I did when fooling around with my college boyfriend.
My ex, P, and I dated when I was 18 and a college freshman. I honestly don’t even remember meeting him. According to my friends, he and I had been friends for years. He and I went to camp together for a couple of years and had exchanged AIM (AOL Instant Message) usernames at some point in time. He stopped going to camp and I became friends with his younger sister.
P decided he wanted to see me the summer before freshman year of college (we had been messaging each other) so he drove her to camp. It’s weird because in my mind, that was the first time I had ever seen him. The mind plays weird tricks on us. We continued to talk for the next couple of months and then started dating around Christmas for about 3 months.
During those 3 months, he told me that one of his fantasies was to untie a girl’s bikini top and let it drop. What did I do? I obliged. He was the first (and only) guy to see my boobs, to feel them, kiss them, hold them… and I didn’t remember.
For the past couple of years, I honestly couldn’t remember he and I doing any of that! It’s not that I am ashamed or that I don’t want to remember any of it. My medication had destroyed my memory for those couple of years and was recovering.
So is it a lie that I didn’t remember and I only just remembered some 6 years later??