I am a relationship kind of girl. I had never really just dated. J was also the last boyfriend I had back in 2014. I had gone on single dates between J and A (haha… that just sounds funny). But usually knew after date one that nothing was going to continue or even before we met.
I started talking to A back in December right before Christmas. Now, if you’re not familiar with Coffee Meets Bagel let me explain a little how it works. You both have to like each other then your chat opens. Once it does, you have one week to exchange information. If you don’t, they ask if you’re interested in extending the conversation (yes, no, maybe). If you choose yes or maybe and the other person chooses yes, then the conversation stays open. If it’s a no, then you’re done. You have 24 hours to make this decision.
The biggest problem is that the chat will forget to alert you on messages! So when I first started talking to A, most of our chat messages were being missed. Our chat was about to close and he still hadn’t asked for my number.
The Friday night before out chat closed he messaged me:
Do you want to grab a drink or something tonight?
I hate last minute plans. I don’t do spontaneity. I love schedules and plans and organization. So what did I do? Turned him down. And our chat closed the next morning. We both decided to reopen it and he asked for my number this time.
He was leaving that next weekend for a week to see his family in Northern California, so it was either make plans for this week or probably not see him at all.
We were texting… every day nonstop. I didn’t initiate it, he did. It was the “good morning” and “good night” and all throughout our work days. He asked me to join him to Star Wars the week it came out (I said yes of course!!) but I asked if we could meet up before because a first date as a movie is a bit weird. You need a chance to talk, right? And to get to know each other.
So instead of meeting up before the movie, we decided to meet up that night. We started the night basically playing 20 questions, any question was fair game.
I realized what it’s like to go into a date opened and honest right away. It’s amazing but scary. Being that open and honest with someone that quickly hits the accelerator in the emotional bonding between the two of you.
If you’re not ready for an emotional relationship, 20 questions is not to be played.